Are you board of boring dice? The ones with numbers and useful things? Well, apparently someone is, my housemate got a bunch of miscellaneous outcast dice online and here are some of the more baffling ones
Fraction Dice
Fun fact: this is the damage dice for the famous D&D spell Bigby’s Affectionate Hair Tousle.
Binary Dice
These dice will roll you either a one or a zero. Now you might say “can’t I just flip a coin?”. But that kind of thinking is why you are not a professional dice scientist.
A D12 and its beautiful baby D12
As you can see, the baby hasn’t quite got the hang of numbers yet, but luckily the adults are here to protect it while it grows.
Emotion Dice
The other emotions on it are Rage, Mischief, Happiness, Sadness and Apathy, but I went for the most common one in TTRPGS: “I roll to seduce”
Eye of Sauron Dice
The other sides are blank. If you roll this dice, you always receive either Horror or The Void. This is probably a metaphor for something.
Not A Dice
This is not a dice
Sexism Dice
The other sides are things like “handbag” and “clothes shopping”. I am not making that up, that is legitimately what this dice is.
Eldritch Sexism Dice
Thanks for trying but this is not really an improvement.
The 1DFUCKYOU
This dice has no numbers. The DM is finally sick of your shit. Let’s see you seduce every NPC when you are rolling all your saving throws with this, David.
The Societiet Minerva dice
From a google search all I can find is a social group for RAF engineers? Feel free to reply to this post with your hottest “social group for RAF engineers” jokes I guess.
Letter Dice
If you are thinking “Wait, aren’t there more then 6 letters in the latin alphabet?”, then well done on showing more foresight then the makers of the Letter Dice.
There you go everyone! Some dice for those who feel like adding numbers together is too easy and want to finally find out what abstract concept is higher then a DC of 15. I’m not sure who feels like that but apparently there is a demographic, and who am I to ignore it?
-Mod Pencil
I think that Eye of Sauron die might actually be Eye of Sauron? Looks like one of the dice in my LoTR Boardgame – Mod Paper
like i know there are a lot of fics out there where other vulcans are all “oh man, jim kirk’s so freakin HOT how’d spock get in his pants” but IF ANYTHING it’s actually the reverse. spock shows up on vulcan one day with Jim on his arm and all the other vulcans are OUTRAGED. They’ve spent years mooning (logically) over spock’s flaxen bowl cut. his dark eyes. his slightly lax emotional control that gives him just a hint of the “bad boy” vibe that we all know vulcans secretly go wild for. Sarek receives like a thousand bonding proposals a year from VSA graduates who all have google alerts set to notify them when spock gets a new xeniobiology article published. and then they find out. that the object of their (totally logical) affections. had the equivalent of a las vegas wedding with the human captain of his starfleet ship while in the middle of a five year mission. vulcans may be too logical to riot but on that day, a good many vulcans had to meditate for an extra hour or two just to contain their rage
This is the sci fi equivalent to that post about Gimli son of Gloin, the Stud of Erebor
So this couple walks in- a broad-shouldered man with an accent (Italian, I think) and a man that I can best describe as looking like Cecil Palmer.
“Okay- weird question. So you guys did our wedding- amazing by the way. And it’s been a month and just about all the flowers in the vases have died by now except for this one thing that’s really holding on in there. And we want to know what that plant is and how to take care of it to keep it alive. And we don’t know how to like… describe it and it sounds kind of weird to go to up to a stranger and say ‘hey what’s this weird wiggly green plant you put in our vases a month ago?’ but I guess that’s what I’m asking.”
“Sounds like curly willow. If you keep it in water it will eventually start rooting and you can grow a new plant from it from the cutting.”
“That is too cool! What do you suggest we do?”
“Well, you can keep it in the water for now, but eventually you’ll want to pot it in soil because that’s how it’s going to get its nutrients.”
“Can we,” the Italian guy asks. “Can we plant it in the floor?” I figure he means ‘plant it outside.’
I nod. “It’ll keep growing.”
“What does it look like when it’s bigger? Does it stay like a wiggly stick?”
“Oh, no, it’ll branch out. It’s actually a tree.”
The skinnier one turns to his husband and says:
“Did you hear that, honey? They gave us a tree! We have a tree now!”
you though this was gonna be a christmas post? guess again bitch! happy hanukkah! may your latkes be delicious and you have a blessed holiday season! אני אוהב את כולכם כל כך !!!
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